Monday 20 August 2012

CHILD ABUSE IS NOT DISCIPLINE OR AFRICAN, IT IS SIMPLY CRUELTY TO CHILDREN!


  • Couple beat their children with brooms, hoovers and wires, claiming they were possessed by evil spirits
  • They gave their baby morphine overdose after her first birthday
  • 'I am beaten without mercy', said an SOS note written by one of the children
  • Parents alleged Miss Collins wanted to 'steal' their children
  • 'We are innocent, this is a miscarriage of justice', screamed the couple as they left court...
Yes, it hurts me personally and in every humane way possible when children undergoing abuse are not believed when they finally find the courage to speak out. It also hurts me to no end that in the part of the continent I come from, people define 'child abuse' in a different way and conveniently brush it aside by calling it discipline! 

 It is indeed sad that some Nigerians consider this case as 'culture clash' and even racial discrimination!

To many Nigerians, it is considered normal for pastors to accuse children of witchcraft and slap them in churches, it is considered OK  for prophets to take children to beach sides and beat them mercilessly while their parents shout hallelujah, all under the ‘acceptable disguise’ of casting out evil spirits from the children.  No, these are not rare occurrences, as i wrote in a previous post, these things happen almost every minute of the day, just visit Lagos Bar Beach! 


Parents beat their children with brooms, cut them with sharp objects and inflict all sorts of injuries on their children and wards, all in the name of discipline and these are normally the same parents who steal in their workplaces and brag about their 419 activities in front of their children.

In public schools,  teachers think it is OK to beat children in their care, the bigger the cane/rod, the more feared the teacher, unfortunately many teachers and even parents in Nigeria do not appreciate that there is a difference between fear and respect. BTW, I attended a public school in Nigeria, so I know what I am talking about... and yes, cos of that experience I never allowed my child to go to a public school, even if it meant working myself to death to afford private schools where I can very well tell the teachers, “lay a finger on my child, I’ll get my child out of the school and we will meet in court!”.

No, abuse is not the same as discipline, transferred aggression is all too common in our society, teachers and parents are not exempted and adults in authority tend to abuse the privilege since it is considered rude for a child to talk back or contradict an adult.

 In the case of this couple, I would ask, were there injury marks on the bodies of the children? The article said there were, to quote the article-

“Revealing scars the eldest said her mother had hit her with a cable, a broom, and a hoover and her father had dangled her by her feet down the stairwell of the house, tied her hands behind her back and her legs together 'to get the devilish spirits out', prosecutor Emma Smith said.

Her sister, who was seven at the time, had a stick shaped bruise of her thigh and after a few months in care, she drew a series of pictures showing her dad beating her and her being left home alone and including a speech bubble saying ‘I’m hungry”. 
 These are PHYSICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL indications of child abuse.

Should the geographical location, race or skin colour of children determine whether the children have been abused? No, every child matters! If such abuses would never be tolerated from white parents, why should it be tolerated because the parents of the children concerned are black? 
 
  When we look beyond skin colour and race issues and look at every PERSON, first and foremost, as a HUMAN BEING with rights, respect and dignity, then we will understand that we ought to stand up for the vulnerable, without asking the question.. “What is their race?”

My heart goes out this minute to every child undergoing child abuse and too scared to speak out and to those children who have spoken out but are being told to shut up by adults around them.
                                                                                                                                                                         
NO, CHILD ABUSE IS NOT AFRICAN; IT IS SIMPLY CRUELTY TO CHILDREN!


Friday 17 August 2012

RESPECT MY ATHEISM; DO NOT SEND ME BIRTHDAY GREETINGS IN THE NAME OF YOUR SKY DADDY!


I just completed another full year circle, Facebook as usual, notified my FB friends, not a bad thing , but on my facebook page, there is a very bold info that states that I AM AN ATHEIST, btw, if you are on my Facebook page as a friend or subscriber and you do not know that I am PROUDLY BISEXUAL, PROUDLY FEMINIST AND PROUDLY ATHEIST, wtf are you doing on my page?

Anyway, why do people feel the need to send me birthday greetings and PRAYERS in the name of their God, even when they know I do not share their belief in a Sky daddy? This is simply RUDE!


Now, imagine you are a religious person, let’s say a Christian, and  you have it on your facebook info and other social networks that you are a CHRISTIAN and you also regularly make posts on your wall about how Jesus is your ONLY LORD and SAVIOUR,  how every other god is fake because your scriptures says all other ‘Gods’ are  deaf, dumb , blind and you should not worship these carved idol images and then your birthday comes up,  and some 'well meaning' friends posts the message below on your  facebook wall:-

“Happy birthday dear friend, Sango shall strengthen you,  Ogun will protect you and your family,  Oya shall bless you, Osun will nurture your children , enjoy your special day in the name of Amadioha.”

Would you feel angry and /or disrespected? Would you just smile and say thanks or would you scream “Hey, do not bring your idolatry onto my page and certainly not into my life, fuck off idol worshiper!”
Well, that is exactly what I actually would love to say to those who, knowing that I am an atheist, still insist on sending me birthday prayers in the name of  Jesus, Allah, Mohammed or whatever God(s) they worship, instead I said "Thanks" and decided to write this blog post, with the hope that this won't happen again!

Yes, your prayers are meaningless to me, but when you insist on praying for me, YOU DISRESPECT ME. You just confirm that you are a religious bigot who wants to force your beliefs and unsolicited prayers down my throat. The fact is, such people simply confirm just how bad religion is and how it could turn a perfectly nice person into a thoughtless Zombie! You might be a well meaning person, but forcing your beliefs and prayers on me is rude and certainly not well meaning!

Society always advocate tolerance of religion and culture, as long as you are not tolerating anything that harms another, respect and tolerance is the key word. BTW, if you hold funny beliefs, do not expect people not to laugh at your belief, this is not intolerance or disrespect, funny things including funny beliefs automatically generate laughter!

Now, listen to me, I am an Atheist, I am a human being with rights to Freedom FROM Religion, I deserve to have my Atheism respected by everyone including the pope!

If you invited a Muslim for dinner, it would be unethical to offer pork and alcohol for dinner, it would be considered religious and cultural disrespect to extend a handshake to a Muslim woman or an Orthodox  Jew of the opposite sex, it would be bad ethics to wear your shoes into the house of a Hindu, it would be considered disrespectful if you entered a church and started pouring libation to your ancestral gods, now is it so difficult to understand that IT IS RUDE TO SEND AN ATHEIST A  BIRTHDAY PRAYER?  Or do you think that Atheists do not deserve to have their non belief respected?

As an Atheist, there are many things I am already angry about, with justified reasons too,  what with religious people insisting on teaching the Creationist story of Adam, Eve and the talking snake as fact in PUBLIC SCHOOLS, religious fanatics wanting to stone gays and women who commit adultery to death because their precious holy books say so, religious zealots influencing laws and state policies to fit with their religious beliefs…gawd, I got so many bullshits to put up with from religion and its shitty practitioners that I certainly do not need someone adding “forcibly praying for me”, to the unending lists of STUPID THINGS RELIGIOUS PEOPLE DO TO ME!”.

So here is my birthday wish and a lesson in ethics:
- Do not send me a birthday prayer in the name of whatever god or deity you believe in
- Do not send me prayer greetings
- Do not offer to pray for me
-Do not tell me what your God(s) have in store for me
-Do not send me a bible or any other religious books as presents
However, for a birthday present, you can deposit a huge sum of money into a Swiss bank account IN MY NAME, send the code to me and tell me GOD DID IT… I promise not to be angry!