Sexuality rights remain a
controversial issue in many parts of Africa; it is not just a controversial
issue but also a taboo subject.
Many countries in Africa still criminalize homosexuality. Sodomy laws remain part of the criminal laws thereby making it
legally possible to persecute sexual minorities. For example Zimbabwe, Kenya,
Uganda, Nigeria, Tanzania and Ghana all have laws under which homosexuality can
be prosecuted. In South Africa, where the constitution recognizes same-sex
relationships, gays and lesbians are often attacked, molested and persecuted
for their sexual orientation.
Many African societies do not provide enabling environments to discuss sexual
orientation issues. Homosexuality has been condemned by many African leaders as
Immoral, Un-African and a 'White man's disease'.
In Nigeria, lawmakers are resurrecting a version of a widely condemned
anti-homosexuality bill. Nigerian Lawmakers in a bid to rally popular support
needed a scapegoat and the LGBT community provides an easy target.
Poverty,
corruption, unemployment, lack of security and the growing menace of Boko Haram
are some of the many problems bedeviling Nigeria as a nation. Rather than focus
on these urgent problems, Nigerian lawmakers decided once again to come in a
'straight' mass orgy of corruption to bully the gay minority; a cause always
guaranteed to provide the otherwise unpopular lawmakers with cheap, majority
support. When will they stop discussing who is sleeping with whom and start
making laws to move this underdeveloped, oil rich nation forward?
In the book FREEDOM TO LOVE FOR ALL: Homosexuality is not Un-African, Yemisi
Ilesanmi takes a critical look at Nigeria's 'Jail the Gays' bill. In this
interesting collection of her articles on Nigeria's Same Sex Marriage
Prohibition bill, she makes a brilliant case for LGBT Rights as Human Rights
and effectively debunks the myths surrounding homosexuality in Africa.
Yemisi Ilesanmi also raises concern on what she termed 'The deafening silence
of Nigerian Human rights activists on the homophobic bill'. She sheds light on
homophobia in Nigeria and the forces driving the 'Jail the Gays' bill in
Africa.
She wrote: "I wonder why it is not considered politically incorrect to ask
if Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals or Transsexuals have equal rights as
heterosexuals. If we are agreed that no one should be discriminated against,
why are we still debating if Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals are
entitled to Human Rights? Last time I checked LGBTs are people too! Well,
debate is good because in some countries like Nigeria, many are yet to be
convinced that Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals are actually human
beings."
About the author:
Yemisi Ilesanmi is an experienced advocate, trade unionist, human rights
activist and a passionate poet. She holds a Masters of Law degree in Gender,
Sexuality and Human Rights.
Yemisi Ilesanmi writes and speaks on a range of issues including workers rights,
gender and sexuality issues. She is a passionate campaigner for equal rights,
social justice and poverty alleviation.
Corfe Castle in Dorset, UK was built in
the year 1295. The castle has a rich history of Romance, Betrayal, Kidnappings,
Wars, Beheadings, Trapped princesses and Ghosts! Enjoy!
Nigerian LGBTIs in Diaspora against Anti Same Sex Laws commemorated
IDAHO with a protest rally! Special thanks to everyone who joined us to
stand up against Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia. A very special
thank you to Peter Tatchell for his solidarity and our very special
comrades from Uganda who showed their massive support! Together We Can!!
I recently started Video blogging and with it came the barrage of
opinionated comments on my looks, appearance and quite interestingly, my
accent!
I have never been self conscious about my accent. I
started making guest appearances on National TV programs almost two decades
ago as a young human rights activist and vocal feminist. I remember the first time I appeared on one of the ‘posh’ Women’s programs which at the time passed as a feminist TV show, I was immediately approached after the show
by the popular “polish’ presenter who told me “Yemisi you were really brilliant
on the show, only thing is if we could get you to lose the accent”. Well, it
happened that the presenter also ran a ‘Finishing school’ for girls ... hmm do
not ask me why a “feminist’ TV show presenter had a “Finishing school for
girls’’… well, this is Nigeria we are talking about, and feminism , like many assumed
“imported” ideology comes with its colonial baggage!
Anyway, she was so
impressed with my points but not so impressed with my accent that she offered
me a free session in her 'Finishing school' to get rid of my accent. I remember
asking her why I would want to be rid of my accent, I wasn’t self conscious
about my accent, especially since Nigeria is a diverse country with many local
dialects and accent is one of the ways you know where a particular
person is from. Well, I was told getting rid
of my accent would be great for my profile, I declined her ‘priceless’ offer
and insisted that I’d rather keep my accent as it is an integral part of my
identity .
I have since gone ahead to speak at many national and international events, sometimes
with heads of states and diplomats present. I have made a few speeches at UN
meetings, appeared on a live televised round table debate with Tony Blair and
some other world leaders, but I never for a minute felt self conscious about my accent, and well, my
audience never really complained and in some cases, they seemed to appreciate
what I had to say. Shows you should choose your audience well!
However with the uncontrolled audience that YouTube, Facebook and other online social networks attracts, I
have recently been faced with so many malicious comments attacking my Yoruba
accent, and funny or rather very unfortunately, 99.9% of these comments are from
my country people who have similar accents! I couldn’t help but wonder why people
would hate themselves so much as to believe that their accent is inferior? This
phenomenon is not peculiar to Nigerians.
In 2009, I attended a student exchange program in Indian; I was
the only black student in a group of white students. I noticed that the first
thing most, if not all, of the Indian lecturers did was
to apologize for their accents! I
thought that was unnecessary if not outright pathetic. I mean, I paid some
serious money for a Masters degree in a UK university, none of the
very white, very accented lecturers ever bothered to apologize to me for their British
accents, rather, whenever I ventured to speak in the class (and yes, I couldn’t
be kept shut) , I at least, made sure I spoke slowly enough for them to get the
gist of my comments but did they ever extend such courtesy to me? Hell no! And I am pretty sure the exchange lecturers in UK did not apologize for their British accents to the exchange Indian students sitting in UK classrooms. So why did the Indian lecturers feel they had to apologise for their local accents to the exchange, mainly white students group? Well, somehow I knew (don't ask me how!) that even though i was a member of that group, they weren't apologising to my black ass for their Indian accents!
In fact, the default setting is, being an English speaking white
person means ‘No accent’ and if at all, it is considered a ‘superior’ accent to
what is coming out from a brown or black mouth! Of course having only lived in UK for
3 years, I am still trying to identify the myriads of British accents; from the
Manchester accents, to the Lancashire, to the Scots, to the… oh forget it! Yet,
I am by default, the one who is supposed to apologize for my accent because I
am black and from Africa. Nope, we all have our accents and none is superior to
the other.
Accents and dialects vary widely across
Britain; as such, a single "British accent" does not exist.
Non-native pronunciations of English result
from the common linguistic phenomenon in which non-native users of any language
tend to carry the intonation, phonological processes and pronunciation rules
from their mother tongue into their English speech. They may also create
innovative pronunciations for English sounds not found in the speaker's first
language. Local accents are part of local dialects. Any dialect of English has
unique features in pronunciation, vocabulary, and grammar. The term
"accent" describes only the first of these, namely, pronunciation.
Among native English speakers, many different
accents exist. Some regional accents are easily identified by certain
characteristics. Further variations are to be found within the regions
identified below; for example, towns located less than 10 miles (16 km)
from the city of Manchester such as Bolton, Oldham and Salford,
each have distinct accents, all of which form the Lancashire accent, yet in
extreme cases are different enough to be noticed even by a non-local listener.
The main tragedy is that following my video posts, the myriads of
hate comments deriding my accent are not from people of different culture but
from my own culture, my home country, my hometown! Below are examples-
“Double lol!!! Bisexual Yemisi Ilesanmi's got a terrible
English accent... which suits her lifestyle I suppose. *tut tut* I thought she
was polished, but now I've seen this video, *smh*"
(Comment made by a Nigerian woman on
my video interview posted on a mutual friend’s facebook wall, she obviously
hates the fact that I am Bisexual and Atheist! And, she’d rather talk about my
accent than the content of my interview. Her comments were dead giveaway
of how much she loathes her local accents)
“You cannot slap some sense into
Bishop Oyedepo cuz you don't have any sense. Instead of you to spend your time
learning how to speak proper English, you're here making a mockery of yourself
with your H factor and inability to pronounce words right. I suggest you take
your alien looking ass and put it somewhere away from the cam.”
(Comment from
a Nigerian man on my YouTube video ‘Slap some sense into Bishop David Oyedepo’, the commenter forgot or hates the well known fact that the main
distinguishing factor of the Yoruba accent is its heavy emphasis on H in spoken
English)
“Ello! My name is Yemisi... and
today... I Ham very Hangry!”
It really is a tragedy that so many people are still under the chains of mental
slavery. The belief that you are not good enough unless you are white, rich and
skinny and speak English through your nose is still a prevalent belief amongst
many Africans! Some actually thought
such comments about my accent would offend me, but I just wonder why I should
be upset because I have an accent that is unique to my place of birth and where
I grew up. What is there to be ashamed of? People who make such comments are ignorant and
need to emancipate themselves from mental slavery.
VILLAGE/BUSH GIRL?
This also got me thinking
about some other things people have said to me which they thought were offensive
but which I just took as a matter of fact and not an offense. For example, during
my first professional photo shoot as an aspiring plus size model, the makeup
artiste, a talented black woman was
preparing to fix a pair of fake eyelashes on me when I made the very honest
comment that it was my first time of fixing fake eyelashes. Well, she was
aghast and she mockingly said, “Are you from the
village? I asked her why not fixing fake eyelashes should be associated
with a villager’s behaviour. I just never
felt I needed fake eye- lashes. Also, I never fixed fake nails, I have naturally long
nails therefore I never needed to have nail extensions, same with my lashes!
And the horror of all was when she was shaping my eyebrows and I said I do not
use tweezers because I find it painful, I prefer “plastic shavers” She shrieked
and said “You are definitely a bush girl!!! She being a lovely lady
immediately covered her mouth so no one but me could hear this “insulting”
comment. Being called a ‘bush person’ is
like the ultimate insult to an African person especially an African woman. Only I didn’t take it as an insult, she was so
remorseful after that I actually started wondering why I wasn’t offended!
I explained to her that being from the ‘bush’ or village should
not be seen as something to be ashamed of. I could choose to live in the bush/village
if it made me happy. If I won the lottery today (fat chance since i don't even play the lottery), first thing would be to buy a
house in the countryside, and yes, to me, countrysides are glorified
villages. Also, my not using tweezers is
me putting my comfort first before fashion, and plastic shavers have done a
pretty good job of shaving my eyebrows for decades, so if it isn’t broken, why
try to fix or change it?
OFFENSE OR IGNORANCE?
However, I got seriously thinking about
why I wasn’t offended by such comments? Is it over-confidence? Is it because I
was born in the city, grew up in the city and have visited all the continents,
that I do not find it offensive when someone out of the blues criticize my
accents or call me a bush girl or not polished enough?
I think it is because I understand that many people, especially
Africans are dying to ‘belong’, desperately seeking the approval of the ‘upper
class;’ which itself means , the adoption of white culture and behaviours,
which unfortunately many Africans still consider as superior to their native
cultures . Many have been brainwashed and are still under the yoke of mental
colonization. They live under the unfortunate impression that they are inferior
in their native environment, appearance or lifestyles, they consider themselves second class human beings. In such cases, I just shake my head and pity their
ignorance. Well; I actually go a step further
by putting pen on paper or my face on YouTube to help educate such people to be
free from the chains of mental slavery.
In a similar vein, I understand what Greta Christina was saying in her
blog post “the ugliest of all atheists!”: #mencallmethings, about people being concerned about one's looks especially if a woman, than what one has to say.
She wrote “When I
was speaking at the University of Chicago last week — awesome event, btw,
thanks to everyone who put it together! — the event organizer showed me a
publicity poster for the event, which had been graffittied. Next to my photo
and under my name, someone had hand-written the words, “the ugliest of all
atheists!” Because that’s the important
thing, isn’t it? When determining the worth of a writer or speaker or other
public figure, the most important issue is whether said figure is nice-looking
or ugly. It doesn’t matter if we’re stupid or smart, accurate or off-base, innovative
or entrenched, boring or inspiring. What matters is whether random strangers
find us sexually attractive.”
In my case, I do get such feedback
like, “you look beautiful in that video, can we be friend?” Yuk… I just wonder
how I would accept to be friends with someone who sat through a video I took
the time to make about a topic dear to my heart and all he or she could say was
“you look beautiful and sexy!” I mean,
what happened to the topic I was discussing? Not interesting, beautiful or sexy
enough?
Like Greta said “The point
isn’t that I’m not ugly. The point is that it shouldn’t matter.” I will go
further and add-
The point isn’t that I'm not beautiful. The point is that it
shouldn’t matter
The point isn’t that I’m not sexy. The point is that it shouldn’t
matter.
The point isn't that I'm not fat. The point is that it shouldn't matter.
The point isn’t that I don’t have an accent. The point is that it
shouldn’t matter.
For those that are ‘put off’ by my accent, especially those that
actually share this beautiful Yoruba accent with me or speak with Igbo or Hausa accent from my beloved country, Nigeria, listen carefully, read my lips if need be, PEOPLE HAVE ACCENTS, GET OVER IT! You should spend
less time on self-hate and more time on listening and understanding the topic
under discussion. It is said that great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.
Deriding accents from your homeland accentuates your insecurities about yourself, your origin and your identity. Disparaging the accents of people different from you shows how ignorant you are of the diversity of the world you live in. Such comments won't hurt the discerning, it only draws attention to your self-hate. Everyone has an accent, learn
to respect yours and others will respect you. You are free to adopt another accent if it made you feel good but do not look down on those hanging on to their accents. Learn to appreciate and enjoy the beauty of diversity, you do not always have to blend in, you can stand out. You do not always have to crave to 'belong' , you can make people appreciate where you already belong. Do not wallow in self
stigmatization, Stop your self-hate!
MY
GENDERLESS LOVE! I don’t walk straight Not even for the bait I am merry yet not gay I am bi and I can bay But greed Is not my seal Yet you all snigger Calling me a player Our goal is acceptance Where is the tolerance?
I am not gay enough To be wholly enfolded Not sufficiently lesbian To be totally embraced Do I even talk Trans I can’t brace the rants! You preach diversity As community necessity But are quick to sneer Whenever I am near
Yes, in the mall I want it all With the dick I play and lick And the boobs Makes me swoon The big breasted Leaves me besotted With the intersex I am a smitten Aphrodite
With the pussy I get all fussy The shaven sight To suckle all night Bouncy bums I love to bump Smooth balls I like to smooch With the Pecs I need no specs
I am bisexual, not a player So don’t make me a slayer I am bisexual not confused Like you I choose my companion It is a natural attraction Not just a mere selection With love I embrace my lover It matters not the gender All I want is tenderness For my love is genderless. By (c) Yemisi Ilesanmi
Enjoy the video 'OCCUPY FOR EQUALITY'. The two videos are one and the same, the YouTube version is blocked in the USA because of the Bob Marley's track I used in the video (copyright issue).I have downloaded same video using Windows Movie maker, everyone can now access it. Enjoy and Reflect!
Many Nigerians are occupying the streets to protest against
fuel subsidy removal, what if President Goodluck Jonathan signed a law that
prohibits every adult Nigerian from marrying consenting adults, would you
occupy the streets to protest the law? What if Nigerian lawmakers passed into
law a bill that stipulates a 14 year jail term for any adult Nigerian who
engaged in a consenting sexual relationship with another adult, would you Occupy Nigeria?
Millions of Nigerians
would take to the streets if their right to found a family or engage in mutual
relationship with another adult was infringed upon by the government, why justify
the Anti Same Sex Marriage bill? Why support this draconian bill against
Nigerian Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals? Why take away another
person's right when you do not want your right trampled upon?
LGBT RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS! Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transsexuals
are HUMANS and an injury to one is an injury to all! Remember, when you
are neutral in situations of injustice, you have taken the
side of the oppressors!
SAY NO TO ANTI SAME SEX MARRIAGE BILL! OCCUPY NIGERIA
FOR LGBT RIGHTS, OCCUPY EARTH FOR EQUALITY! STAND UP FOR HUMAN RIGHTS!
My video submission for the "we love Figure 8 women " contest.. The Video was voted best video by two of the three international judges. A toast to all Big, Bold and Beautiful women everywhere. Stand up tall and let the world worship at your sultry feet!
As I turned a year older, it hit me hard that I can no longer claim I am
in my early 30s, I am now officially in my late 30s! Going down memory
lane on my 36 years sojourn so far on planet earth, I realized just how
blessed I am and how much I have achieved in the past 36 years. Growing
old is part of life cycle, not to be feared but to be embraced with
gratitude. It is a time to reflect and grow stronger. Like wine, women
get better with age and I am determined to age as gracefully as I can
while living life to its fullest. As I look forward to the challenges
and joys the next 36 years will bring, I rise to embrace it all with
renewed vigor! Here is a toast to me, by me, from me. Cheers everyone!
Music by Whitney Houston- Greatest love and R. Kelly- Greatest. No
copyright infringement intended!
