My Personal Tour of Corfe Castle!

Corfe Castle in Dorset, UK was built in the year 1295. The castle has a rich history of Romance, Betrayal, Kidnappings, Wars, Beheadings, Trapped princesses and Ghosts! Enjoy!

I AM A WOMAN AND I AM WEEPING!

I am a woman and I am weeping

The tears won’t stop seeping
Like a river it keeps flowing
At my heart it tugs, nipping
My eyes are bleeding
My nose keeps running
They say I should slow it
But all they do is blow it
Teardrops just like crystals
Not mine alone but all sisters!

I am a woman and I am weeping
On my feet I keep thinking
The dreams I have to maintain
The tears I cannot curtail
From day to night I toil
In the fields I till the soil
Bent over with hands, this I can bear
Hoping my behind I won’t have to bare
For the children and the aged I have to care
The burdens sometimes leave me bare!

I am a woman and I am weeping
In the boardroom I am seething
They negotiate my seat
As I take in all the heat
It matters not that I have the brains
The body is what they want to drain
With my pen poised I stand on the stool
But they tell me brain is not the tool
As all they want is my body to drool
And for me to play the fool!

I am a woman and I am weeping
From the corners I am peeping
Paving the streets in my high heels
Hoping the deals I can now seal
My health and safety is at risk
But the children can’t eat sticks
In the boardroom, on the street
It matters not where I  sit
My brain makes me an expert
But all they want is a Sexpert!

I am a woman and I am weeping
I fight the system but hope is fleeting
The streets I keep combing
While my heart keep sobbing
How long shall I be suppressed
Now they say I am depressed
I do not need a mental operation
What I hate is this oppression
You can keep your psychiatry
While I kick your patriarchy!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI 4 APRIL 2011

BECAUSE I AM A GIRL

Trembling she holds her tummy
Knowing this fourth baby coming
Will be her making or breaking
She moans, her world hanging
Groaning as she strains
Not just from labour pains
With one more push, I came panting
With just a look, she screamed fainting
A reprieve from the moment of truth
Husband in-laws with new wife struts
Buckle up; it’s going to be a rough ride
Because I am a girl

In the kitchen I am taught to cook
While the boys read from the books
They eat the juiciest meat to grow strong
I eat what is spared though I feel it’s wrong
The floors I am to sweep and scrub
Even though I never get to roll and ball
For water I walk long distance to the wells
Galloping boys to school with pride swell
Head bowed I balance my buckets
Heads up they balance their books
I cannot join them in the grid
Because I am a girl

Only 14 they say I am ripe
Is my life all about strife?
I see the world through a veil
Body in robes not to be vain
With every inch covered
My value is coveted
I feel subjugated
My clitoris mutilated
They say I am born only to satisfy
Pleasures and desire of my buyer
A child bride in the crib
Because I am a Girl

I stare into the dark clouds
A tiny silver lining urges
I am a human
Not just a woman
I can nurture the earth
Heal and give it a caring heart
Break free the chains of patriarchy
Oppression nurtures hierarchy
No matter the sex
We all can excel
I can see me fly high
Because I am a girl!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI, 22 SEPTEMBER, 2011

'Our Senators are Hypocrites'

 
INTERVIEW LINK- http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/our-senators-are-hypocrites/104344/
  Bisexual Nigerian Lawyer, Yemisi Ilesanmi

Yemisi Ilesanmi describes herself as ‘proudly bisexual’. After gaining her LL.B from the Obafemi Awolowo University in 2004 (four years after she should have qualified and 10 years after she was initially admitted as a student), she was admitted to the Nigerian Bar in 2005. Asked about the time gap, she chuckles in recollection, ‘Well I had some issues with the university authorities’. Pressed further she says, ‘Weeell, we ‘kidnapped the then Vice-Chancellor, Professor Omole! We had only dirty, brown water coming out of our taps in the halls of residence and we were expected to drink that?!’ her voice rising an octave. ‘Well, we thought we should just give him a dose of his own medicine so we “took” him to spend quality time with us!’
If by now it has not been clear that the interviewer is speaking with a non-conformist, it is now.

Ilesanmi worked with the Nigeria Labour Congress in Abuja from 2002 until recently. Aged 36, she holds a Masters of Law Degree from the University of Keele, UK in Gender, Sexuality and Human Rights. Now resident in the United Kingdom, this trade unionist, human rights activist and poet sent in a position paper to the Senate hearing last October on the anti-same sex marriage bill. She was however unable to come down to Nigeria to make her presentation personally but says she now plans to do so for the House of Representatives public hearing.

The coordinator of the campaign group Nigerian LGBTI in Diaspora Against Anti-Same Sex Laws, she has travelled extensively as guest speaker to promote gender and youth issues, labour rights, sexuality rights and international human rights.

She spoke with FUNKE ABOYADE last Thursday via telephone, online, as well as her blogspot…

My Bisexuality Isn’t a Terminal Disease!
 The second child in a family of seven (six girls and a boy), Yemisi was born in Lagos to what she describes as ‘a normal middle class family’. By her late 20s she’d come to the realisation that she was bisexual.

Asked how she assimilated this, she said, ‘I never really had to call a family meeting and announce my sexuality. There was no coming out episode for me; I mean I do not consider my sexuality a terminal disease that I needed to call a family meeting on, like announcing I have got AIDS or Cancer!

‘My family is aware I’m a vocal advocate for LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual) rights. I had been an advocate, even before I finally acknowledged my own bisexuality’.
Their reaction in any event? ‘Mixed’, she says, ‘but they are not homophobic and it’s basically a 'don't ask, don't tell policy' .
However when she finally meets the person on who, in her own words, she will bestow the honour of spending the rest of her life with, she certainly won't hesitate to introduce him or her to her family, ‘no matter the gender’.

Hiding Their Real Identity

 On the challenges that come with being LGBT in Nigeria, Yemisi says, ‘It is indeed difficult living as a person with a different sexual orientation in a country like Nigeria; people who are attracted to same sex or transgender are often abused, treated with cruelty and sometimes molested to death. Transgender are so misunderstood that they are mostly treated like criminals; people believe they hide their real identity so as to defraud unsuspecting individuals’.

She points out that ‘many lesbians, bisexuals and gays often marry the opposite sex just to keep their family members happy and take away suspicion from the ever vigilant community. However they often carry out same sex relationships under the guise of friendship.
 ‘It’s like an unwritten survival code within the LGBT community in Nigeria.  I was once affected by this when I was in a serious same sex relationship in Nigeria. We were live-in lovers; when her family suspected her sexual orientation, they started putting her under pressure to marry. She was so miserable she suggested we arrange for a man to perform her traditional marriage to keep the pressure off, but I wouldn’t play along.

‘She eventually had to marry a man and I lost her and now she has to cope with an unhappy marriage. It was a very heartbreaking experience. I was mad at her, mad at the society! I felt so alone, even our LGBT friends thought I should have played along and not tried to rock the boat by expecting too much. However, I believe we are all responsible for our own happiness and for me, being open about my sexuality is essential for my happiness.
Did her classmates at Primary or Secondary School or at the University suspect her sexual inclination?
‘I was not sexually active in my primary and secondary school years. In my university days, people often speculated on my sexuality. I was called a lesbian when I founded the National Association of Nigerian Female Students (NANFS) in 1998 and I had not even started dating women then!

The God Factor…

Yemisi also describes herself as ‘proudly atheist’. How and why did she become an atheist, her family being Christian? Was this to do with her sexual orientation? Did Christianity reject her or she found it too harsh or unforgiving?

 ‘The million Dollar question! I really get peeved when asked this question especially when it comes with that disbelieving look and exclamation, “You mean you really don't believe there is God?!”  Not forgetting that very annoying question "what happened to make you not believe in God?” Why do people always assume that something terrible must have happened for one to have lost "faith" or not have faith at all?

‘Well, the good news is: there was no big bang that left me gasping for faith. It just happened that I am not convinced there is a "God" designing our planets, dishing out destinies, taking care of our needs, waiting for us to ask so s/he/it shall give, busy keeping scores on our good and bad deeds. I don't believe there is an omnipotent, omniscience, all knowing being watching from high above - and why not from down below anyway? I guess we don't like the idea of stepping on God!

 ‘Anyway, it is my humble opinion that man not only created God but did so in his own image. There are as many gods as there are people, communities and religions. People tend to create the god that suits them and their particular situation consciously or unconsciously.

‘It’s no big deal about exercising our imagination but it becomes a big deal when you judge others based on your own particular god beliefs or force your imagination down the throat of others! It is unfortunate that many believers influence state policies based on personal religious beliefs. It is a great injustice to those who do not share those religious beliefs either because they believe in another "God" and have a different set of doctrines.

‘I do not believe in the existence of a "God". I do not need a religion to feel high, low, solemn, guilty, moral, immoral, good, bad, favoured or blessed. I do not have a soul crying to be saved. I just wish everyone would appreciate that this is really no big deal!


Just Another Lifestyle Choice or Innate?

Is sexual orientation an alternative lifestyle choice? Are LGBTs actually born that way? Or is this a descent into decadence?

 ‘It is sad that sexual orientation is not a topic of research taught in Nigerian schools; in fact sex education is hardly a comfortable topic in schools and a taboo topic in many Nigerian homes.

‘Sexual orientation is something we are all born with. Many researchers, doctors, psychologists and scientists have done enough research on the topic and have come to the conclusion backed by indisputable evidence that sexual orientation is not a choice, it is not a disease, it is not a disorder but just like skin colour, left handedness, eye colour, we are born with our sexual orientation’ she insists.

That Bill by the Senate…

Her view therefore is that the bill passed by the Nigerian Senate last week punishes people for what is essentially not their making.
 ‘It’s like punishing a black person for being black, punishing a left-handed child because he or she cannot write with the right hand or punishing a baby girl for being born a girl. This is unfair and inhuman!’

 Speaking as a lawyer she says, ‘the bill contradicts fundamental human rights under the Nigeria Constitution, as well as international and regional human rights law and standards.

 ‘S. 42 of the Nigerian Constitution prohibits discrimination against any person on the basis of sex or membership of a group. Also, Section 34 guarantees the right to the dignity of the human person

‘Article 2 of the African Charter on Human and Peoples' Rights affirms the equality of all people. Article 26 prescribes that "Every individual shall have the duty to respect and consider his fellow beings without discrimination, and to maintain relations aimed at promoting, safeguarding and reinforcing mutual respect and tolerance."
She also lists the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the
United Nation’s Declaration on Human Rights Defenders.

And her reaction to the bill as an LGBT?

I AM REACHING, REACHING FOR THE STARS

I am reaching, reaching for the stars
Though I bear the brunt of the scars
I spread my wings for a flying spree
This cage I will break to set me free
Although the sky looks scary and vast
I will explore with bravery and a blast
So long my wings were clipped
Now I will fly even if I slipped
Bowed down by years of misery
Now tis time to show my mystery

I am reaching, reaching for the stars
With eyes bleary and teary with cries
For so long I have been sad
These burdens I had so bad
The yoke I have carried
Many years I have tarried
Slave to your strangling bleeps
Too afraid to take that leap
Now it is my oyster card
To provide me a landing pad

I am reaching, reaching for the stars
Cos I am ready, ready for the skies
For so long lies I have been told
So many cultural myths I was sold
Motherhood will make you great
Submit as a wife even if it grates
Ambition will only make you vain
Be a woman and a worthy saint
Even if it takes mutiny
I will make my destiny

Resources might be scarce
I will no longer live a farce
Sitting on the sidelines
Never to make a landmine
In your space I am constrained
In my space I will not be restrained
Nothing can stop this flight
Not even all my plight
Even though you now sneer
Get set to watch and cheer

For so long I was a victim of your blunders
Now it is time to watch me in wonder
Like an exploding star I shall shine
Whirlwind mixed like sweet brine
This hurricane you have to bear
My Tsunami is poised to roar
Even though ill of me you now speak
Won’t stop me from reaching my peak
Just be still and watch me fly
You will no longer be so sly

Man or woman we can all roar
The sky is big for all to soar
I can no longer be caged
I will be my own sage
There is flight in my wing
Beautiful music as I sing
With this song I take flight and glow
Never to be slowed down by the flow
Watch me spread my wings and marvel
My mystery I am about to unravel!

 By © YEMISI ILESANMI, 19 May, 2011

Countdown to 36!

At One I was born
At Two I was teething
At Three I was ready to climb trees
At Four I was told girls get on all fours not climb
At Five it was about how girls don’t fight
At Six I was an excited student
At Seven it was all so new
At Eight I was eating without guilt
At Nine I heard of Niles
At Ten I was still playing Ten-Ten
At Eleven I was getting the levels
At Twelve it was twelfth night or what you will
At Thirteen I learn I was a teen
At Fourteen It was proper sitting
At Fifteen I learn not to be filthy
At Sixteen I was a sweet sixteen
At Seventeen I was a free spirit
At Eighteen I was eaten
At Nineteen I was with a tummy
At Twenty I was a mummy
At Twenty one I was the twisted one
At Twenty two I thought in twos
At Twenty three I was told to think threes

At Twenty four it was all so sour
At Twenty five I gave myself the high five
At Twenty six I was tweeting
At Twenty seven I was up in levels
At Twenty eight I was getting the haters
At Twenty nine I was flying high
At Thirty I was still thirsty
At Thirty one I was the flirty one
At Thirty two I declared I love in Twos!
At Thirty three it was about threesomes
At Thirty four it was becoming dour
At Thirty five I needed a fight
At Thirty six I am penning my theatrics!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI , 31 AUGUST, 2011 (Inspired by Van Rijkaard ‘36’)