I AM A WOMAN AND I AM WEEPING!

I am a woman and I am weeping

The tears won’t stop seeping
Like a river it keeps flowing
At my heart it tugs, nipping
My eyes are bleeding
My nose keeps running
They say I should slow it
But all they do is blow it
Teardrops just like crystals
Not mine alone but all sisters!

I am a woman and I am weeping
On my feet I keep thinking
The dreams I have to maintain
The tears I cannot curtail
From day to night I toil
In the fields I till the soil
Bent over with hands, this I can bear
Hoping my behind I won’t have to bare
For the children and the aged I have to care
The burdens sometimes leave me bare!

I am a woman and I am weeping
In the boardroom I am seething
They negotiate my seat
As I take in all the heat
It matters not that I have the brains
The body is what they want to drain
With my pen poised I stand on the stool
But they tell me brain is not the tool
As all they want is my body to drool
And for me to play the fool!

I am a woman and I am weeping
From the corners I am peeping
Paving the streets in my high heels
Hoping the deals I can now seal
My health and safety is at risk
But the children can’t eat sticks
In the boardroom, on the street
It matters not where I  sit
My brain makes me an expert
But all they want is a Sexpert!

I am a woman and I am weeping
I fight the system but hope is fleeting
The streets I keep combing
While my heart keep sobbing
How long shall I be suppressed
Now they say I am depressed
I do not need a mental operation
What I hate is this oppression
You can keep your psychiatry
While I kick your patriarchy!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI 4 APRIL 2011

BECAUSE I AM A GIRL

Trembling she holds her tummy
Knowing this fourth baby coming
Will be her making or breaking
She moans, her world hanging
Groaning as she strains
Not just from labour pains
With one more push, I came panting
With just a look, she screamed fainting
A reprieve from the moment of truth
Husband in-laws with new wife struts
Buckle up; it’s going to be a rough ride
Because I am a girl

In the kitchen I am taught to cook
While the boys read from the books
They eat the juiciest meat to grow strong
I eat what is spared though I feel it’s wrong
The floors I am to sweep and scrub
Even though I never get to roll and ball
For water I walk long distance to the wells
Galloping boys to school with pride swell
Head bowed I balance my buckets
Heads up they balance their books
I cannot join them in the grid
Because I am a girl

Only 14 they say I am ripe
Is my life all about strife?
I see the world through a veil
Body in robes not to be vain
With every inch covered
My value is coveted
I feel subjugated
My clitoris mutilated
They say I am born only to satisfy
Pleasures and desire of my buyer
A child bride in the crib
Because I am a Girl

I stare into the dark clouds
A tiny silver lining urges
I am a human
Not just a woman
I can nurture the earth
Heal and give it a caring heart
Break free the chains of patriarchy
Oppression nurtures hierarchy
No matter the sex
We all can excel
I can see me fly high
Because I am a girl!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI, 22 SEPTEMBER, 2011

'Our Senators are Hypocrites'

 
INTERVIEW LINK- http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/our-senators-are-hypocrites/104344/
  Bisexual Nigerian Lawyer, Yemisi Ilesanmi

Yemisi Ilesanmi describes herself as ‘proudly bisexual’. After gaining her LL.B from the Obafemi Awolowo University in 2004 (four years after she should have qualified and 10 years after she was initially admitted as a student), she was admitted to the Nigerian Bar in 2005. Asked about the time gap, she chuckles in recollection, ‘Well I had some issues with the university authorities’. Pressed further she says, ‘Weeell, we ‘kidnapped the then Vice-Chancellor, Professor Omole! We had only dirty, brown water coming out of our taps in the halls of residence and we were expected to drink that?!’ her voice rising an octave. ‘Well, we thought we should just give him a dose of his own medicine so we “took” him to spend quality time with us!’
If by now it has not been clear that the interviewer is speaking with a non-conformist, it is now.

Ilesanmi worked with the Nigeria Labour Congress in Abuja from 2002 until recently. Aged 36, she holds a Masters of Law Degree from the University of Keele, UK in Gender, Sexuality and Human Rights. Now resident in the United Kingdom, this trade unionist, human rights activist and poet sent in a position paper to the Senate hearing last October on the anti-same sex marriage bill. She was however unable to come down to Nigeria to make her presentation personally but says she now plans to do so for the House of Representatives public hearing.

The coordinator of the campaign group Nigerian LGBTI in Diaspora Against Anti-Same Sex Laws, she has travelled extensively as guest speaker to promote gender and youth issues, labour rights, sexuality rights and international human rights.

She spoke with FUNKE ABOYADE last Thursday via telephone, online, as well as her blogspot…

My Bisexuality Isn’t a Terminal Disease!
 The second child in a family of seven (six girls and a boy), Yemisi was born in Lagos to what she describes as ‘a normal middle class family’. By her late 20s she’d come to the realisation that she was bisexual.

Asked how she assimilated this, she said, ‘I never really had to call a family meeting and announce my sexuality. There was no coming out episode for me; I mean I do not consider my sexuality a terminal disease that I needed to call a family meeting on, like announcing I have got AIDS or Cancer!

‘My family is aware I’m a vocal advocate for LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transsexual) rights. I had been an advocate, even before I finally acknowledged my own bisexuality’.
Their reaction in any event? ‘Mixed’, she says, ‘but they are not homophobic and it’s basically a 'don't ask, don't tell policy' .
However when she finally meets the person on who, in her own words, she will bestow the honour of spending the rest of her life with, she certainly won't hesitate to introduce him or her to her family, ‘no matter the gender’.

Hiding Their Real Identity

 On the challenges that come with being LGBT in Nigeria, Yemisi says, ‘It is indeed difficult living as a person with a different sexual orientation in a country like Nigeria; people who are attracted to same sex or transgender are often abused, treated with cruelty and sometimes molested to death. Transgender are so misunderstood that they are mostly treated like criminals; people believe they hide their real identity so as to defraud unsuspecting individuals’.

She points out that ‘many lesbians, bisexuals and gays often marry the opposite sex just to keep their family members happy and take away suspicion from the ever vigilant community. However they often carry out same sex relationships under the guise of friendship.
 ‘It’s like an unwritten survival code within the LGBT community in Nigeria.  I was once affected by this when I was in a serious same sex relationship in Nigeria. We were live-in lovers; when her family suspected her sexual orientation, they started putting her under pressure to marry. She was so miserable she suggested we arrange for a man to perform her traditional marriage to keep the pressure off, but I wouldn’t play along.

‘She eventually had to marry a man and I lost her and now she has to cope with an unhappy marriage. It was a very heartbreaking experience. I was mad at her, mad at the society! I felt so alone, even our LGBT friends thought I should have played along and not tried to rock the boat by expecting too much. However, I believe we are all responsible for our own happiness and for me, being open about my sexuality is essential for my happiness.
Did her classmates at Primary or Secondary School or at the University suspect her sexual inclination?
‘I was not sexually active in my primary and secondary school years. In my university days, people often speculated on my sexuality. I was called a lesbian when I founded the National Association of Nigerian Female Students (NANFS) in 1998 and I had not even started dating women then!

The God Factor…

Yemisi also describes herself as ‘proudly atheist’. How and why did she become an atheist, her family being Christian? Was this to do with her sexual orientation? Did Christianity reject her or she found it too harsh or unforgiving?

 ‘The million Dollar question! I really get peeved when asked this question especially when it comes with that disbelieving look and exclamation, “You mean you really don't believe there is God?!”  Not forgetting that very annoying question "what happened to make you not believe in God?” Why do people always assume that something terrible must have happened for one to have lost "faith" or not have faith at all?

‘Well, the good news is: there was no big bang that left me gasping for faith. It just happened that I am not convinced there is a "God" designing our planets, dishing out destinies, taking care of our needs, waiting for us to ask so s/he/it shall give, busy keeping scores on our good and bad deeds. I don't believe there is an omnipotent, omniscience, all knowing being watching from high above - and why not from down below anyway? I guess we don't like the idea of stepping on God!

 ‘Anyway, it is my humble opinion that man not only created God but did so in his own image. There are as many gods as there are people, communities and religions. People tend to create the god that suits them and their particular situation consciously or unconsciously.

‘It’s no big deal about exercising our imagination but it becomes a big deal when you judge others based on your own particular god beliefs or force your imagination down the throat of others! It is unfortunate that many believers influence state policies based on personal religious beliefs. It is a great injustice to those who do not share those religious beliefs either because they believe in another "God" and have a different set of doctrines.

‘I do not believe in the existence of a "God". I do not need a religion to feel high, low, solemn, guilty, moral, immoral, good, bad, favoured or blessed. I do not have a soul crying to be saved. I just wish everyone would appreciate that this is really no big deal!


Just Another Lifestyle Choice or Innate?

Is sexual orientation an alternative lifestyle choice? Are LGBTs actually born that way? Or is this a descent into decadence?

 ‘It is sad that sexual orientation is not a topic of research taught in Nigerian schools; in fact sex education is hardly a comfortable topic in schools and a taboo topic in many Nigerian homes.

‘Sexual orientation is something we are all born with. Many researchers, doctors, psychologists and scientists have done enough research on the topic and have come to the conclusion backed by indisputable evidence that sexual orientation is not a choice, it is not a disease, it is not a disorder but just like skin colour, left handedness, eye colour, we are born with our sexual orientation’ she insists.

That Bill by the Senate…

Her view therefore is that the bill passed by the Nigerian Senate last week punishes people for what is essentially not their making.
 ‘It’s like punishing a black person for being black, punishing a left-handed child because he or she cannot write with the right hand or punishing a baby girl for being born a girl. This is unfair and inhuman!’

 Speaking as a lawyer she says, ‘the bill contradicts fundamental human rights under the Nigeria Constitution, as well as international and regional human rights law and standards.

 ‘S. 42 of the Nigerian Constitution prohibits discrimination against any person on the basis of sex or membership of a group. Also, Section 34 guarantees the right to the dignity of the human person

‘Article 2 of the African Charter on Human and Peoples' Rights affirms the equality of all people. Article 26 prescribes that "Every individual shall have the duty to respect and consider his fellow beings without discrimination, and to maintain relations aimed at promoting, safeguarding and reinforcing mutual respect and tolerance."
She also lists the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights and the
United Nation’s Declaration on Human Rights Defenders.

And her reaction to the bill as an LGBT?

THEY SAY IT IS CULTURE, I SAY IT IS TORTURE!

THEY SAY IT IS CULTURE, I SAY IT IS TORTURE!

They say it is culture

I say it is torture

Born a woman, a reason to be oppressed

It is culture, a woman must be suppressed

I must never be too forward

They will only drag me backward

As a woman I must learn to be submissive

For a man has the power to be dismissive

To be accepted

I must be subjected!

Different meals I must prepare

That’s what makes me special

They say teas I must make

Special cakes I should bake

The butter I churn amidst the patter

The children and husband I pander

Hanging on to my apron often

As I take the heat of the Oven

I am sweating,

But he is swearing

Well he is the Man

And I am just a Woeman

They celebrate polygamy

But condemn polyandry

Why must he have all the fun

Having his beer belly rub in the sun

He has status, he must be a chief

Cos he has so many wives as chefs

Catering to his every need

Ready to bear all his seeds

Many lovers will leave me a pariah

I can be stoned according to Shariah

I am a child and there goes my friend

I can’t see her face; she is covered like a fiend

They say it makes her a woman worthy

Her value rises when a man comes forth

She is just a child that needs to play

Without all the covers to drag and slay

We were playing in the rain

Now I search for her in vain

Someone has carted her off to marry

She is just a kid, oh how I worry

Now she will never be merry

As that old man pop her sherry

I am a child born an atheist

Only to be told I must be a theist

To their services I am dragged

While all they do is brag

About their god fearing child

Oh how I wish for a shield

From all that talk of heaven and hell

I would rather be left in my shell

As the thought of a burning fire

Leaves me bewildered and tired

But they think I must have

With them a myth to share

A god to offer supplications

As I submit my applications

See I am gay

I have no say

They say it is a taboo

But this is not a tattoo

That leaves me a choice

Now I have found my voice

With Pride I reject your offer

In silence I will no longer suffer

Safety and silence for my sexuality

It’s too high a price for my mentality

Now you know one man‘s culture

Is really another woman’s torture!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI , 2 APRIL, 2011

Chin up and Weather the Storm!

You think you have it rough
Could it be as tough as the dough?
Beaten up and cuts into bits
Tossed into the oven heat
Yet comes out crispy and hot
Ready for the icing on top
With the paste we all have a favourite place
Cakes put a smile on many a bride’s face
Doughnuts and bread for everyone in plates
Path full of thorns but I wipe clean the slates
Like a rough diamond, I come out trump
Chin up and weather the storm!

Yes I am a beautiful flower
But I have also been sour
For it is not always summer
In winter there is no shower
Sucked dry by the weeds
Blown away by the winds
Heads down not much to look at forlorn
It will be summer again and I shall blossom
My blazing colours and aroma will captivate
Butterflies and birds my nectar to salivate
To rise again, I need to be strong
Chin up and weather the storm!

Unemployed, accounts in red
Bills to pay, family to be fed
You have it hard but take a look at me
Homeless, refugee, not an account to my name
From faraway I come seeking greener pastures
I could be deported in a minute gesture
I am pregnant, barefoot, hungry children crying
Land ravaged by famine, droughts and slaying
I have no food, bank or fertile land still I walk on
The world plays politics and religion with my situation
I am just a statistic, so bleak but I trudge on
Chin up and weather the storm!

I am the proud Rainbow, with awe you stare
Beautiful colours blazing across the clear blue sky
Sky once laden with rain soaked tears
Cloudy, stormy, wintry and no stars
Sunshine will always find a way to break through
The rainbow will blaze again, marvel and stay true
Life dishes out its mixture of pain and pleasure
With pressure we appreciate more our treasures
Stricken down, rise up and look beyond the snares

This too shall pass for nothing stays the same
When it is all falling apart, just stay strong
Chin up and weather the storm!

 BY © Yemisi Ilesanmi 28 July, 2011 

I AM REACHING, REACHING FOR THE STARS

I am reaching, reaching for the stars
Though I bear the brunt of the scars
I spread my wings for a flying spree
This cage I will break to set me free
Although the sky looks scary and vast
I will explore with bravery and a blast
So long my wings were clipped
Now I will fly even if I slipped
Bowed down by years of misery
Now tis time to show my mystery

I am reaching, reaching for the stars
With eyes bleary and teary with cries
For so long I have been sad
These burdens I had so bad
The yoke I have carried
Many years I have tarried
Slave to your strangling bleeps
Too afraid to take that leap
Now it is my oyster card
To provide me a landing pad

I am reaching, reaching for the stars
Cos I am ready, ready for the skies
For so long lies I have been told
So many cultural myths I was sold
Motherhood will make you great
Submit as a wife even if it grates
Ambition will only make you vain
Be a woman and a worthy saint
Even if it takes mutiny
I will make my destiny

Resources might be scarce
I will no longer live a farce
Sitting on the sidelines
Never to make a landmine
In your space I am constrained
In my space I will not be restrained
Nothing can stop this flight
Not even all my plight
Even though you now sneer
Get set to watch and cheer

For so long I was a victim of your blunders
Now it is time to watch me in wonder
Like an exploding star I shall shine
Whirlwind mixed like sweet brine
This hurricane you have to bear
My Tsunami is poised to roar
Even though ill of me you now speak
Won’t stop me from reaching my peak
Just be still and watch me fly
You will no longer be so sly

Man or woman we can all roar
The sky is big for all to soar
I can no longer be caged
I will be my own sage
There is flight in my wing
Beautiful music as I sing
With this song I take flight and glow
Never to be slowed down by the flow
Watch me spread my wings and marvel
My mystery I am about to unravel!

 By © YEMISI ILESANMI, 19 May, 2011

Countdown to 36!

At One I was born
At Two I was teething
At Three I was ready to climb trees
At Four I was told girls get on all fours not climb
At Five it was about how girls don’t fight
At Six I was an excited student
At Seven it was all so new
At Eight I was eating without guilt
At Nine I heard of Niles
At Ten I was still playing Ten-Ten
At Eleven I was getting the levels
At Twelve it was twelfth night or what you will
At Thirteen I learn I was a teen
At Fourteen It was proper sitting
At Fifteen I learn not to be filthy
At Sixteen I was a sweet sixteen
At Seventeen I was a free spirit
At Eighteen I was eaten
At Nineteen I was with a tummy
At Twenty I was a mummy
At Twenty one I was the twisted one
At Twenty two I thought in twos
At Twenty three I was told to think threes

At Twenty four it was all so sour
At Twenty five I gave myself the high five
At Twenty six I was tweeting
At Twenty seven I was up in levels
At Twenty eight I was getting the haters
At Twenty nine I was flying high
At Thirty I was still thirsty
At Thirty one I was the flirty one
At Thirty two I declared I love in Twos!
At Thirty three it was about threesomes
At Thirty four it was becoming dour
At Thirty five I needed a fight
At Thirty six I am penning my theatrics!

BY © YEMISI ILESANMI , 31 AUGUST, 2011 (Inspired by Van Rijkaard ‘36’)

Area Scatter- A cross dresser performing before royalty.. now that is my tolerant african culture!

Sambia tribe in Papua New Guinea... Is this UnNatural and UnAfrican?

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Kiss Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia goodbye!

 Date-  5 DECEMBER, 2011

Time- 11:30am-4:30pm

Venue-Nigeria Permanent Mission , United States

               828 Second Ave.

               10017

              New York, USA

 The Nigerian Senate  with a full majority on Tuesday Dec 29, 2011 voted in support of the  bill entitled “An Act To Prohibit Marriage Between Persons Of Same Gender, Solemnisation Of Same And For Other Matters Related Therewith”. This was in spite of the  disturbing report  from the October 31, 2011 public hearing in Abuja of the bill.  The independent campaign group, Nigerian LGBTI in Diaspora Against Anti Same Sex Laws will hold a protest in front of the Nigerian embassy against the passage of the bill and condemn the homophobic atmosphere under which the public hearing was conducted. Enough is Enough, we want our human rights!

 The theme of the protest is ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Kiss Homophobia, Biphobia and Transphobia goodbye! The group intends to officially submit our position paper  that was read at the public hearing in Abuja to the Nigerian Ambassador to USA and use the opportunity to express our concerns on the bill as Nigerian Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transsexuals and Intersex (LGBTI) living in United States of America.

 Also, outside the embassy, Nigerian LGBTI and allies will hold hands, hug and kiss as a gesture of kissing Sodomy laws goodbye. Come and join us, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Let us together kiss Sodomy laws and other anti same-sex laws goodbye. International solidarity knows no borders, come one, come all! Solidarity forever!

 Link to protest details- http://wp.me/p1YdPM-3k
Facebook event link-

Venue Map link here

 SIGN OUR PETITION AGAINST THE BILL HERE

Contacts-
John Adewoye- couragenigeria@gmail.com
Ifeanyi Orazulike- alliance.ifeanyi@gmail.com

Debunking the myths: Is Homosexuality, Bisexuality or Transsexualism UnAfrican and UnNatural?

UNAFRICAN?

   

Homosexuality has existed from time immemorial, as far back as when same sex persons ever came in contact. Africa is said to be the cradle of human race, it therefore can be logically inferred that homosexuality started in Africa, before human race started migrating to other places to spread its branches in different colours, shapes and sizes.   

Many African cultures and religions viewed Homosexuals and Transgender persons as gods, they were revered before intolerant religions and cultures started flourishing. It was the advent of colonisation and the import of foreign laws like Sodomy laws that brought Homophobia and intolerance into many African societies. I say “African societies” with a consciousness that AFRICA is not a monolithic society as it consists of many diverse ethnicities and cultures and therefore there can lay no claim to a single, monolithic, African culture. 

Many Africans became intolerant of homosexuality and transsexuals only after foreign religions were imposed on them. In many African cultures, homosexuals and transsexuals were revered and worshiped as spirits of the gods. Sango, the Yoruba god of thunder was often described as a beautiful man who dressed like a woman, had his hair braided and accessorized like a woman. Sango priests, all men, still dress in women apparels when performing traditional rituals. Now tell me that is unafrican!

Anthropologists have found evidence that homosexuality was widely tolerated in many parts of pre-colonial Africa. For example, EE Evans-Pritchard reported that until the practice died out in the early 20th century, male Azande warriors in the northern Congo routinely married male youths who functioned as temporary wives.

Also, in Uganda, some members of the Buganda royal family suggest that homosexuality was existent and tolerated before colonial rule. To this day, it is said that many members of the Buganda royal family are gay. 

And of course Calabar women are well known lesbians and bisexuals. In fact, Matriarchy was and is still strong in Calabar. In the absence of a male child, the eldest daughter in the family is culturally allowed to marry another woman; this woman bears a child from a chosen man to keep the family name of the woman who acts as the husband. The eldest daughter who acts as the husband gets to keep the child and her wife! of course no one can say for certian what goes on behind closed doors once 'husband' and wife retires to their bedroom; the possibility of the couples getting cosy is quite high.

Northern parts of Nigeria e.g. Kano and Kaduna  are homes to many gays and effeminate men. Homosexuality was openly practiced before Sharia Law came with its threats of stoning homosexuals to death! This alien legacy,  a report by Human Rights Watch is a good read on Sodomy laws in Africa. 

I am Proudly African and I am mystified whenever I am accused of "promoting and defending European sexual perversity" (whatever that means). In fact from various historical paintings on Ancient Africans walls, our ancestors enjoyed homo sex , affection and Love and that was one reason why Christian missionary colonisers immediately imported their sodomy laws into our constitutions; they imported HOMOPHOBIA because they thought our free loving ancestors were barbarians who indulged in same sex loving! 

No one culture is superior to the other. African, European, Asian, American, Canadian, Aborigines, Jewish etc NONE is superior to the other. Learning about my history does not mean I should cherry pick only the part that suits me. I love African hospitality, I love the community spirit, I value the extended family support, I love the African braids, dressing etc but I do not value genital mutilation, I detest polygamy, I abhor women not having inheritance rights especially land, I am ashamed of child marriage and the fact that twins were once killed by some groups in my culture.  I cannot shy away from these problems that are part of my inherited culture, which is why as a feminist; I am fighting for equal rights for all. I am a proud African but I recognise that there is no perfect culture.

Alien to Africa?

Many often claim that Homosexuality is Alien to Africa. Can someone please show me the proof? I am an African, I am bisexual, I was bisexual before I ever met any white person or stepped foot on any European shore, so does that mean I am a fake African?

As Africans, we should learn about our history beyond what was fed us in missionary schools. Africa is the cradle of humanity; homosexuality existed since time immemorial, which logically means it started from Africa before some members of the human race migrated to other continents for greener pasture. 
 

 







Sodomy law is a foreign import; it is a relic from the colonial era which all former British colonies inherited. The law, like most old colonial British laws, had a very high religious influence, the name of the law itself points to its biblical origin. Britain has since repealed Sodomy laws in its homeland, unfortunately Nigeria and many other African countries still cling to this antiquated law and many now think it is an ORIGINAL AFRICAN HOME MADE LAW.

 Unfortunately, colonisation and mental slavery continue in Africa through the heavy influence of evangelical missionaries who, having lost ground in their western countries to EQUALITY RIGHTS LAWS, have now invaded African churches and are inciting members against homosexuals. The evangelicals are also sponsoring bills against homosexuals in African countries.  Some of these churches are particularly from the USA and many US citizens have come out to condemn the actions of these evangelicals, who preach and spread hate.

The upsurge of homophobic bills springing up all over Africa is actually a calculated sponsored mission of foreign religious fanatics. The religious groups in Nigeria came to the public hearing with inciting placards and even threatened to beat up the few LGBTI defenders that attended the hearing. Whatever happened to Love Thy Neigbour?

I sure love this video of sex initiation of young men by older men in Sambia tribe in Papua Guinea. 

This is another video clip of an Igbo transvestite or cross dresser, who used to play before an accepting igbo community audience and also performed before royalty gives a very warm glow, a reminiscence of how tolerant dear Africa used to be. A cross dresser performing before royalty without being stoned to death?  Wow, now that is my Africa, the one I love. That was how tolerant our people were before homophobia and its religious fundamentalists took hold of our culture! The people were only interested in his talents not how he dressed!  As a Nigerian, I know that if it were to be Igbo community of today; this man would likely be stoned and beaten up for daring to dress as a woman.

 

The Yoruba God of Thunder, Sango was always referred to as a “BEAUTIFUL MAN”, with plaited hair and fond of feminine accessories. Sango priests still wear women's apparels when performing rituals. Just like the Igbo cross dresser in the video above, many African society were tolerant. Imagine what would happen to a cross dresser in many communities or even town centers in Nigeria today? 

Some do argue that Sango was famed to have been married to the Yoruba goddess, Oya. The reference to Sango in this post is to focus on his GENDER IDENTITY not Sexual Orientation. Gender identity differs from Sexual orientation, a Trans or cross dresser is not necessarily a lesbian or gay. 

 This picture of two black men kissing - 'Khnumhotep and Niankhkhnum' were ancient Egyptian royal servants and are believed by some to be the first recorded same-sex couples in history. It is the only tomb in the necropolis where men are displayed embracing and holding hands. In addition, the men chosen names form a linguistic reference to their closeness: Niankhkhnum means "joined to life" and Khnumhotep means "joined to the blessed state of the dead'", and together the names can be translated as "joined in life and joined in death""

UNNATURAL?

 "Normativity" is a social construct; it is neither biological nor medical. 'Hetereo-normativity" may be the norm but that does not mean it is the ONLY type of relationship that exists or is natural. 

Once upon a time, killing of twins, child marriage and female circumcision were considered normal in some parts of Africa. Also women contesting elections, inheriting lands and properties were once considered abnormal in many parts of Africa. 

Humans are continuously evolving socially and politically to create new norms. Most importantly, we must recognise that some rights are inalienable rights, and all human beings are entitled to these rights by virtue of being HUMAN irrespective of gender, birth, race or sexual orientation. 

What is normal today might become abnormal tomorrow but what I am born with e.g my sexual orientation remains an integral part of me whether the society or even I, accept it or not. We are all born with our sexual orientation. Sexual orientation does differ but  just like skin or eye colour, none is superior to the other.

 What is normal to me might not be normal to you, for example, I am attracted to all gender, that is natural to me, but this might be unnatural to you. Being bisexual to me is as natural as being left-handed is to a left-handed person. I am attracted to a person irrespective of sex or gender identity. Homosexuality or Bisexuality is a natural part of nature that is present in many of the species on planet earth. 

Many claim that anal sex is unnatural. What consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedrooms is no business of the law or any other individual. Many heterosexuals engage in anal sex, it is not an exclusive copyright of gays. Also, many heterosexual men love oral sex and yes some women do enjoy engaging in oral sex with their lovers. It can also be argued that it is unnatural for the Penis to be inserted in a woman's mouth, just the same way you can argue that a man's tongue is not meant to give pleasure to a woman’s' clitoris or down below. Many perform fellatio on their partners and don’t find anything wrong in the act. Do we say it is wrong because that is not the original purpose of the mouth or tongue? 

Unfortunately, many of our schools still teach the missionary method (Sorry, no pun intended!) Anyway, the missionary schools are not known for teaching the main facts about sex or even acknowledge there is such a thing as SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   

Procreation: A gay problem?

 Many still argue that same sex relationship is unnatural because a man cannot get pregnant, but let's think about this; 

• “Is marriage or sexual relationship only acceptable for the sole purpose of procreation? 
• Should an infertile, heterosexual person not be allowed to marry? 
• Should we stop old people who are in their menopausal age from getting married? 
• Should we make marriage or sexual relationship illegal for fertile opposite sex partners who out of choice decide not to have children?

Not all relationships or marriages are entered into for the purpose of procreation. With advanced technological development in reproductive health, adoption, surrogacy and IVF are only some of MANY options available to same sex couples. 

When same sex couples decide not to add to the dangerously growing 7 billion human population of planet earth, or/and decide to adopt a child instead of biologically making one,  they are being thoughtful and should be commended  for their Eco-friendly action!

 For a research on sexual orientation and what scientists, doctors and psychologists have to say on the subject, this link and many links cited in it are a good starting points.

Uncomfortable and non acceptable? 

Many claim they are uncomfortable with homosexuality or bisexuality. Actually, I do not ask people to be comfortable with the idea of who I am sleeping with or having a relationship with, I believe this is solely the business of the parties involved and not the business of the state or any other outsider. 

I might not be comfortable with polygamy, polyandry or even like the idea of marriage, but I recognised that it is not my business to stop consenting adults from entering into consensual relationship.
Adults do not need my approval to love, date or marry, just like I do not need another person's approval to love date or marry my consensual adult same sex partner.

 The people that matter in any relationship, whether same sex or heterosexual, are the people IN the relationship. If they are comfortable in their relationship and cause no one no harm, they are entitled to their rights, dignity, respect of person, right to privacy and the right to found a family if they so wish. It is not about what the norm is in a society; it is about equal rights for ALL.

Homosexuality is not a cultural value of the west, homosexuals in the west fought for the rights not to be discriminated against; freedom is not given freely by the oppressors but demanded by the oppressed. 

Anyone truly interested in fighting foreign imports should start by fighting against intolerance and homophobia, because these are the real crimes of religion. African history via wall paintings indicate that ever before white men stepped foot on the Africa continent, homosexuals were not discriminated against. Learn your history, take the positive and move on from the negative, most importantly let us leave a better culture for the next generation because WE ARE ALL CREATORS OF CULTURE. 

 

The argument that any sexual act or relationship that deviates from the standard heterosexual norm is against  African culture is using “Culture” to sanction the erasure of dialogue about alternative sexualities and to condone homophobia, therefore constituting a form of cultural violence. A society that stifles sexual and gender identities discourages the recognition of human dignity. LGBTI rights are human rights.

Related Links-

• Debunking the myths: Is decriminalizing Homosexuality a slippery slope towards endorsingPedophilia, Rape and Bestiality?

• Debunkingthe myths: Is majority support of ‘Anti Same Sex Marriage’ bill a democraticlicense to discriminate against sexual minorities?